Braided

As someone who attended a catholic high school, I understand the pros and cons of school uniforms. Pro: never having to think about what you wear. Con: having very little options for individual style. My Thai students, much like myself when I was their age, use what little materials they have at their disposal to create a unique fashion sense. Bracelets, glasses, hats, and sweatshirts splash color across the white and red palette of CVK. The only other tool they have: their hair.

At our last school, they were militant in their rules regarding hair. All boys had to keep their hair close-cropped, girls up to M3 (9^th grade) had to have their hair bobbed to the chin, and older girls had to have their longer hair tied back in a white or black ribbon. Any disobedience was met with scissors or a buzz clipper and zero regard for the appearance of the end result. The worst offenders had the worst haircuts.

Here at CVK, they are far more laid-back on the hair rules. Yes, the boys’ hair is supposed to be buzzed short, but they only have checked the length (by cutting out chunks in the back to force a trip to the barber) twice this year. The girls are supposed to keep their long hair tied back in a red ribbon (to match their skirt), but there are no strict guidelines on what that entails.

The most incredible feats of French braiding happen in my classes. They swirl around and down one side, they start at the bottom and work their way up from the nape. They fishtail, they waterfall, they twist. The girls even make French braids that, viewed from the back, make the shape of a heart. And with the girls' long, sleek black hair, the braids are not only beautiful, but practically perfect.

And from watching it all, I have learned lots of new French braid tricks to try on myself (or maybe friends first) in the future. And thank goodness for them; my beauty toolbox was surprisingly low on tricks for long hair. 

Katois and Toms and Dees. Oh My!

Last week I had a conversation with some of my eighth graders about ladyboys; they wanted to know if we have ladyboys in America. We reached a bit of a language impasse when I tried to explain that we have a whole LGBT community in the States, but we don’t necessarily have a direct equivalent to ladyboys.

Widely accepted in Thai culture is the “katoi” or ladyboy lifestyle. Ladyboys are extremely effeminate boys and men who want to be women, or according to my students, “boy and girl in one.” Were they in America, many ladyboys would probably just be flamingly gay (think Kurt on Glee).Thai standards are a bit different though. They like men, but they don’t consider themselves to be gay because they identify more closely with women. And they, therefore, want to become women.

Thailand, as a whole, is incredibly comfortable and nonjudgmental about sexual orientation. Back in America, we have parades and prides and protests about who you are allowed to love. On both sides of the debate, insults are hurled, assumptions are made, and rights are fought over. In Thailand’s attitude toward sexual identity, as in all things, the “sabai sabai” outlook is dominant. It’s not something to fight over because people are who they are.

Roughly ten percent of the fifth and sixth grade boys at our school already openly identify themselves as ladyboys. Not that they could hide it very easily. They shake, shimmy, and dance better (and more provocatively) than any of the girls, and they have mastered the art of french braids and makeup better than I ever will. During school events where the students are allowed to wear their street clothes, many of the ladyboys show up in full drag -- sexy dress, wig, makeup and heels.

On the other end of the spectrum are the Thai lesbians. Also already out of the closet by fifth and sixth grade, are the more masculine lesbians, or “toms”. Around seventh grade, many of the toms start wearing their hair shorter. Much like ladyboys identify with females, toms act in a more manly fashion. Toms do not date other toms, they have girlfriends, called “dees”. A dee, typically bisexual, might be dating a tom, and might date men at other times.

I truly appreciate how accepting the Thais are when it comes to sexuality. Anyone is allowed to love whoever they choose. However, my one criticism is that, unless it falls into specific categories, they don’t really talk about it. Gay men, for example, not as blatantly obvious or fabulously loud as ladyboys, are a largely overlooked segment of Thai society. And what if two lesbians happen to both be feminine rather than butch? The Thais, for all their open-mindedness, seem to only be open to certain configurations.

No matter the flaws in the national outlook on sexuality, there is something spectacular about a society in which a sixth grader has enough love and support to already be confident in who he or she is and to proudly announce having a crush on someone of the same sex.